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I am Not as Strong as I appear. I enjoy weakness from time to time. We are a homeschooling, special needs family of 6. My 4th son has a Congenital Heart defect, and my oldest has ADHD. I am a survivor of Adultery and mental abuse. I learned that you never really know someone until you are strong enough to stand up and walk away. I love and protect my children, with everything I have. My life might seem unbelievable, but I couldn't make this shit up if I tried! Stick around & let's get to know each other.

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Owain is getting better

Even just minutes after he was born, is a strong little guy. I had to pry his little hands away from his face.

Owain is doing much better this week! He is pink & plump & full of life!

They were able to take him off of the respirator yesterday! It is so wonderful to be able to see his face again & to hear him cry. He is still a bit of a cranky head, but now that the respirator is gone he is not in so much pain. They are weening him off of his pain meds & just have him on a diuretic to help him get rid of the extra fluids…which is common after surgery. Aside from that he really isn’t on anything else. He was given a bit of methadone to help him come off of the pain meds because he was on them for so long, but for the most part he really isn’t suffering much with withdrawal from being on pain meds for so long.

He has a strong tight grip and loves to hold on to my finger & I love to look into his eyes. He has these wonderful periods of being awake when I get to stand next to him while holds on to my finger with his tiny little hand & we just look into each others eyes. I have so many mixed feelings when he looks at me, he sees me & he is so happy, but at the same time he looks around & I can see the confusion & I just want to pick him up & cuddle with him.

Now that the respirator is gone, he is getting closer to the day when I can hold him again. He has a line in one of his arteries that they use to draw blood to check the level of different gasses & a few other things. When that line is gone I think that I will be able to actually hold him & try to nurse him. They are thinking that that line might come out today or tomorrow.

Unfortunately, my almost 2 weeks with no sleep has finally caught up with me & I have manged to get fairly sick. Lots of hot flashes & chills with a bit of a soar throat & all over body aches. Will had this before Owain was born for a day or two, but it took me several days to figure out that I was actually sick & that it was not just hormones & being tired. So I have been in bed or on the couch since about 10 oclock last night & will be unable to even see him today. It breaks my heart to be away from him for so long, but it is really doing me some good to catch up on sleep & actually enjoy my food instead of eating on the run.

William will be able to go & visit with Owain tonight after work & give me any updates. The nurses are really good about keeping me updated when I call in, but it is so much better be able to see him to get our own perspective of what is going on & how he is doing.
I just got the time to get back on to the couch order from Will & he is right, I should be sleeping so I can get better to go see Owain tomorrow.

My parents had to go home yesterday & it is so strange to be here alone. They will be back in just over a week to help out again for a few days & to see Owain. Thanks mom & dad for all your help & support! We miss you!

Thanks to every one who is still sending gift cards, gas cards & food. You have know idea how much this means to us and what a great help you all have been. I love you all!

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