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I am Not as Strong as I appear. I enjoy weakness from time to time. We are a homeschooling, special needs family of 6. My 4th son has a Congenital Heart defect, and my oldest has ADHD. I am a survivor of Adultery and mental abuse. I learned that you never really know someone until you are strong enough to stand up and walk away. I love and protect my children, with everything I have. My life might seem unbelievable, but I couldn't make this shit up if I tried! Stick around & let's get to know each other.

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I Hate the Way I Hate

Yesterday someone asked how they could Pray for Me.

Yesterday I answered: To Help Me Find Peace.

What I Really Meant to Say Was: Pray That I Find Peace To Rid Myself of Hate.

Hate of Myself.

Hate for the Selfish and Foul Soul that Believes Sleeping with a Married Man is Acceptable.

Hate for my Husband for Destroying Everything I Believed In.

Hate for my Husband for Taking the Easy, Coward’s Way Out Through Betrayal.

I Hate that I Love my Husband Still.

I Hate the Way I Cry When He Speaks.

I Hate how Easily I Melt When He Kisses Me. When He Holds Me.

I Hate that When He Grabs Me, He Can Make it All Go Away.

And When He Leaves Me, I Hate that He Doesn’t Stay.

I am Consumed by My Hatred of What My Life Has Become.

I Try Not To Be.I Pray Not To Be.

My Heart and Soul are Consumed and Corrupted by Hate.

In the Same Way My Heart and Soul are Consumed by Love.

I Need Prayers.

I Don’t Want to Hate with the Strength that I Love.

Surviving Adultery

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4 Responses to I Hate the Way I Hate

  1. Kelly on May 26, 2013 at 2:46 pm

    Hate sometimes feels as powerful as love… and sometimes the hate just fuels more and more hate. I will pray that you find the peace you need, that calms hate and transforms it into a righteous anger that will be productive for God’s purpose.
    “Be ye angry, and sin not…” Ephesians 4:26

    • lacurcio on May 27, 2013 at 12:16 pm

      Thank you Kelly! My prayers have been answered, and continue to heal. I am still angry, but my hate is fading and God provides strength to defeat my hate and focus on love.

  2. OneMommy on April 29, 2013 at 7:55 pm

    I pray that you find that peace.

    • lacurcio on May 4, 2013 at 8:04 pm

      Thanks sweetie, I need your prayers <3

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