Reasons Why I Homeschool: ADHD?

The question mark after the diagnosis of ADHD is really how I feel about my oldest son Wing Nut’s situation. When it comes down it, I am really not sure I believe that is what he has. He has many of the classic symptoms of ADHD, but on top of that he has also been diagnosed with Failure to Thrive. He has been on meds for ADHD for over 2 years, and while he does seem to have a positive response to them, there are still so many things that stand out in my mind as not quite right. He still has trouble focusing, staying on task, making transitions from one activity to another, highly emotional arguing, and sleeping. The biggest thing that worries me is his weight, and the fact that he has been diagnosed Failure to Thrive. He is about 10-15 pounds underweight. That is a lot for a 9 year old boy!

We have been trying to get him to gain weight for as long as he has been on meds for ADHD and no matter what we do, he barely gains any weight. He has a prescription for Boost, and I buy more Boost. I make him high calorie meals, and snacks, and spend all day trying to get him to eat more. His appetite is very low, and he can go all day long without even thinking about eating, and still not be hungry. He goes to a GI specialist, and has had several tests run by both his regular pediatrician and the specialist.

I feel that many of he ADHD symptoms will go away if we can get his weight up to a healthy weight for his age. He will be going back to see the GI specialist again soon, and we will probably be running more tests and I want to see what other options we have.

The last year that Wing Nut spent in public school was the year that he went through months of appointments with evaluations, and testing at the behavior clinic. I spent that entire year talking to his teacher, and the principal about things that he was doing, and the trouble that he was having. He had a terrible time that year with his school work, with other kids at school, with teachers, teachers aids, and anyone else he came in contact with. I never knew what to expect when I went to pick the kids up from school.

I spent many days trying to make sure that he was eating his lunch, and that he was allowed to eat snacks. He was in 2nd grade at the time, and snacks were not a part of the day. His pediatrician wanted to make sure that he had several snacks throughout the day. As long as I was going into his classroom, and calling his teacher he was allowed to have extra snacks, but as soon as I stopped making the calls, no one even mentioned a snack to him throughout the day. I couldn’t depend on the school to help me with his weight, even with his pediatricians request.

There were days I was told that he spent hours sitting in the office because he didn’t finish his classwork on time, or because he lashed out at another student in a physically way. Wing Nut has a terrible time focusing, and little things get to him, and I know exactly how he feels, I am very much the same way. I remember one time picking up Wing Nut, and being told that he had to sit out from recess because he hit another student. I know what he did was wrong, and so does he, but when we looked at what happened, he lashed out at the kid sitting next to him because he was tapping his pencil, and wouldn’t stop. It was extremely distracting for my son, and he asked the kid next to him to stop several times, eventually he couldn’t handle it any more, and lashed out. The part that upset me was that by this time I was at the school several times a week on a regular basis talking to his teachers, and principal about everything that was going on, how we were having him tested, and was constantly giving tips on how to work with him.

Wing Nut is very sensitive to sounds, and I was surprised when the behavior clinic didn’t think that he had any sensory processing disorder. Lights, sounds, and random things touching his skin can set him off, and send him into an emotional breakdown that can go on for hours escalating into hysterical crying.

I know that when he lashes out, and hits others it is wrong, and so does he.

I spoke to so many different people at the school, and gave them so much advice on how to interact with him, and what he needed to make it through the day. When it comes down to it, public schools are not prepared to deal with students with these types of special needs. Wing Nut is very hard to work with, I struggle with him every single day. We argue, I say things that I shouldn’t, his feelings are hurt, and my feelings are hurt. It is hard. But in the end, at the end of the day, I am madly in love with him. I do everything I can for him.

The public school system works to just get through the day, sending him home at the end, just to get through the year sending him to another classroom at the end.

As long as I was going into his school, things would level off, and calm down, but every time I thought that everyone was on board, it would all fall apart again. His issues were only addressed as long as I was there to speak for him. I couldn’t be there every day. I just couldn’t. I couldn’t leave him in a school system that did not have the ability to work with him the way he needs to be.

There was no way that I could send my son back into a school system that could not relate to him, and was failing him, and our family. I have to homeschool him, if I don’t I see year after year of trouble, and no one listening to me.

I homeschool him because I love him, he is my first born, and I will do anything I can to make sure that he has the best life I can provide.