Ugh! I Miss My Zoloft!

Somehow, I managed to let my prescription to Zoloft run out with no refills. This is not really the best week for this to happen, I guess that is why I didn’t realize it was gone. By the time realized it was gone, and I don’t have a midwife any more it was too late. At some point last night I started having withdraw symptoms and it took me all day long to figure out that I needed to find a way to get some more and again, it was too late.

My midwife moved to a new practice that is about 1 1/2 hours away. It is a good thing we are done having babies or I would have a long drive to get to her! She is just that good! Now that she is gone from the practice I went to for over 7 years I have no interest in going back. They are one of those business-over-health-care places. They weren’t that way when I started going there, not at least that I saw. Anyways, they will not fill my script and cut me off completely.

I didn’t really think it was that big of a deal. Until last night. Since then I have started falling apart, a little bit at a time. I am a mess and have pretty much given up trying to take are of anything. The big kids are going a pretty good job helping me out with the little ones, but overall, I am a mess.

The worst part of it are these flashing, electric type feelings I have been getting in my head. Little things set them off. Random sounds, if I move to fast or if one of the kids moves to fast around me. They are driving me crazy! They cause such intense discomfort all over, not just in my head.

I am also full of anxiety and have been having wicked panic attacks.

There is an emergent care place that is down the road from me that will be open tomorrow. I have heard from a friend that I should be able to get a few days worth of zoloft until I can find a new doctor and get a script. I would really like to get over to see my midwife, but after everything that has happened in the past week, I am not seeing myself getting out of town any time soon.

I miss my Zoloft! I have known for the last year and a half that it is a good thing for me to be on it, but I am completely shocked and how physical the withdrawal symptoms are.

For now I have been controlling my anxiety with crocheting. I have been making washcloths for the kitchen and will be moving on to the bathroom washcloths tomorrow. As long as my hands are busy, very busy, I can keep everything settled.