Out of the Mouths of Babes

My children live to embarrass me. I am convinced of it. Little do they know after giving birth to 5 kids, showing off my girlie parts of a room full of strangers on 5 different occasions, there is little that they can do to embarrass me.

They are working hard at it though.

Wee Nut has no internal monologue. Little Nut Nut was the same way, he still is actually. The difference between the two of them is that Little Nut Nut is usually talking to me, or to himself or his toys or anyone who will listen. Wee Nut likes to talk about me. He is my narrator, I get a constant play by play of my life. Usually it is not to bad…”Mommy, you are drinking water”, “Mommy, you are folding clothes”, “Mommy is eating”…those aren’t too bad. There are the no privacy conversations, like when he runs to tell his brothers “Mommy is going potty” or  “Mommy is taking a shower”.

But, we have been having conversations like this lately, he is all boy and loves to say…

• Owee: Stinker butt, stinker butt!
• Me: Um, I think it was Honey Nut.
• Owee: No, I think it was you.
• Me: Are you sure about that, Mommy doesn’t stink.
• Owee: Yes you do.
• Me: Are you sure it wasn’t you?
• Owee: I think it was you?
• Me: Well OK then

I might have to stop taking him out in public.

Honey Nut is the one who is going to get me in trouble though. She is working hard at learning to talk, I can see her concentrating and really thinking things through. She makes up her own words, you know, because that is what babies do as they are learning to talk. She has groups of sounds that she practices over and over. This week she has been practicing words that end with the letters P & K. Can you guess where I am going with this? The first time she used her new word went like this…

look look look, duck duck duck, f*ck f*ck f*ck, up up up, then she stood up on the couch and started dancing and laughing. weirdo.

I might have to stop taking her out in public too, before the local grocery store thinks I am teaching my kids the mother of all 4 letter words.