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I am Not as Strong as I appear. I enjoy weakness from time to time. We are a homeschooling, special needs family of 6. My 4th son has a Congenital Heart defect, and my oldest has ADHD. I am a survivor of Adultery and mental abuse. I learned that you never really know someone until you are strong enough to stand up and walk away. I love and protect my children, with everything I have. My life might seem unbelievable, but I couldn't make this shit up if I tried! Stick around & let's get to know each other.

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Can’t Believe I am Sharing This!!

I have been thinking about Owain’s birth, the weeks leading up to it and the days and weeks after. I feel like I am doing much better this year than I have his first 2 birthdays. That is mostly because I have filled my days with as much as I can, the less time I have to stop and think about it, the easier it is for me to deal with when I do think about it. I have to keep myself busy or I find myself reliving those moments when they took my little blue baby away and told me that he has a CHD. When I close my eyes, it is all still like it just happened yesterday. I know I can’t completely push it away, and I don’t really want to, I just can’t let it take over my life the way it has in the past. I guess that is all part of the healing process, finding ways to deal with it from day to day and year to year.

I was looking through his photos of his first couple of days and I realized that I don’t really have very many of them. But I did find find this photo of me taken on April 8th, he was born May 3rd, so it was close to a month before he was born…I only got bigger and bigger from this day


On June 15th, I am editing this post from a few months ago to join in a baby belly link-up. You can find others who are sharing their baby belly here…


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9 Responses to Can’t Believe I am Sharing This!!

  1. Anastasia on June 17, 2011 at 2:49 am

    You look great. I’m glad that things are getting easier for you. I can’t imagine the strength you must have found to handle it.

    • Hazel Nut on June 19, 2011 at 11:13 am

      Thanks Anastasia! Strength found me, and now I hope it finds me again for his next surgery.

  2. Shell on June 15, 2011 at 10:38 am

    You look so happy!

    • Hazel Nut on June 15, 2011 at 11:34 am

      Thanks Shell, I was! I loved being pregnant, such a magical time 🙂

  3. Jessica on June 15, 2011 at 9:07 am

    How cute. All tummy for sure.

    • Hazel Nut on June 15, 2011 at 9:11 am

      lol, I know, he was huge!

  4. Karrie on April 23, 2011 at 9:50 am

    I think reliving the past has it’s own methods of therapy. I love belly pics! Thanks for sharing!

  5. amber on April 23, 2011 at 2:36 am

    WOW! I wish I looked that pretty when I was pregnant! What a beautiful picture and what a beautiful child that came soon after. 🙂

  6. Kristine on April 23, 2011 at 12:56 am

    You look gorgeous. 🙂
    Kristine recently posted..The Return of the NightmaresMy Profile

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