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I am Not as Strong as I appear. I enjoy weakness from time to time. We are a homeschooling, special needs family of 6. My 4th son has a Congenital Heart defect, and my oldest has ADHD. I am a survivor of Adultery and mental abuse. I learned that you never really know someone until you are strong enough to stand up and walk away. I love and protect my children, with everything I have. My life might seem unbelievable, but I couldn't make this shit up if I tried! Stick around & let's get to know each other.

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Owain’s Heart Cath Monday May 16

I like to think that I have been doing a pretty good job holding myself together. Between his birthday on the 3rd and thinking about his first surgery 3 years ago, and his up coming Heart Cath tomorrow and surgery next month, I have had plenty to freak out over. I have really tried to turn everything he has gone through up until now into a blessing as he is here with me today when there were moments when we thought he wouldn’t make it.

Today, I am not doing such a great job at it hanging on. No meltdowns, no crying, although I have felt like doing both of them many times today, but for other reasons that involve 2 cranky babies and lots of unhappiness all around. Oh, the joy of teething molars and toddler temper tantrums. And really, I am serious about the joy of it all. I would much rather listen to the shrill of my 3 year old who is upset about the fact that his little sister wants to be a cat and not a dog, than to listen to the silence of him not being here. But today, I am thinking about Owee’s Heart Cath tomorrow.

I am thinking about all the things that can go wrong, too many what ifs are dancing in my head, taking control of my day. My day that is almost over and nothing has gotten done. I am loosing time today and hope that I can make it through the rest of the day without loosing my mind.

We have been through this before. He has had a few Heart Caths. But that was before. He was a baby. A real baby. A brand new baby. He wasn’t a big kid. He didn’t talk or walk or tell me stories or sing me songs. We have been through this before, but it was so long ago. I remember how scared I was, but have forgotten how scary it is. But not really so much forgotten, but misplaced and pushed aside.

Please take a few minutes to think of Owain Monday morning and send a few prayers his way.

 

Double Checking My List for Owain's Heart Cath

 

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12 Responses to Owain’s Heart Cath Monday May 16

  1. Kristine on May 16, 2011 at 1:01 pm

    You’re in my thoughts today Lisa. Sending you lots of love. xo
    Kristine recently posted..The OthersMy Profile

  2. Stefenie on May 16, 2011 at 8:33 am

    Thinking of you today and praying for a smooth trip to the cath lab. I agree, that it is so much harder handing over our big kiddos for these things. {{{HUG}}}
    Stefenie recently posted..Call me crazyseriously!My Profile

  3. Hazel Nut on May 15, 2011 at 8:30 pm

    Thanks Jen!

  4. Jen on May 15, 2011 at 8:17 pm

    Praying for peace for you and that precious little one. You will be in my prayers tomorrow and I will be thinking of you in the a.m.
    Jen recently posted..Blog HopsMy Profile

  5. Rose @ Walnut Acre on May 15, 2011 at 6:15 pm

    I will definitely have you and Owain in my prayers.
    Rose @ Walnut Acre recently posted..Menu Plan Sunday May 15 – Saturday May 21My Profile

  6. Dana Brock Hageman on May 15, 2011 at 6:10 pm

    Will be praying for you. I have 2 CHD children, and each procedure is just as hard, if not harder, than the previous ones. People assume this should be “an easy procedure” or that you’re used to it. You’re not. You may be accustomed to the phrases and the surroundings, but it doesn’t “get easier”. <3 Just letting you know you aren't alone. Prayers will be with you!

  7. Jamie on May 15, 2011 at 4:35 pm

    Praying for peace to embrace you and for Owain’s cath to go flawlessly tomorrow. May you keep those bad thoughts at bay and look for only the good and powerful.
    Hoping your night & morning goes smooth tomorrow and that Owain be comforted as he is unable to eat or drink. Praying he comes out of recovery well and handles the anesthesia like a trooper and finds peace as he is restrained after his cath.
    You guys will be on my heart and mind and in prayer as you guys go through the first step of this next journey!
    Heart Hugs!
    Jamie Snyder
    Amarillo, TX

    • Hazel Nut on May 15, 2011 at 8:27 pm

      Thank you so much Jamie! I have thought about waking him up around 2 to give him a snack, he is always so hungry in the morning.

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